So you’ve been damaged by the patriarchy in some way. Maybe it’s been through wrongful death or false imprisonment or lost wages. Or maybe its’ something deeper. Whatever it is, the patriarchy would like to apologize by way of Man-Eaters: Tomorrow Belongs To You! It may not do much to reverse centuries of oppression, but it’s got a cool cover featuring a badass-looking Greta Thunberg-esque girl on the cover wearing cat ears. That’s got to count for something, right? Let the patriarchy pay you $800 in Ruth Bader Gins-bucks for your troubles at the opening of a special one-shot written by Chelsea Cain with art and layout by Lia Miternique. 

The Patriarchy Apology Fund of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave would like to apologize for all the problems it has caused. Sign the enclosed NDA, and you’ll get access to all kinds of valuable cash, prizes, and promotions. Settlement packages include compensation for Emotional Distress, Pain and Suffering, False Imprisonment, Wrongful Death, Lost Wages, and more. The PAF has even been so nice as to include a ceramic tea saucer commemorating notable historical figure Frances Perkins. Isn’t that thoughtful? Of course, it is. Accept the thoughtful legally-binding apology from the patriarchy and remember what it says in the NDA: “THE PATRIARCHY’s relationship to THE WOMEN can be described as PATERNAL, and THE WOMEN’s relationship to THE PATRIARCHY can be described as ENRAGED.”

Cain’s satire is bright and timely. (The opening letter from the PAF is even dated the release date of the issue: March 4th, 2020.) Even when the central male authority is forced to apologize for all the ugliness that it’s been responsible for, it does so in a way that is every bit as slimy and largely ineffectual as one would expect from a major authority. As with past Man-Eaters bonus material, this issue is populated with countless, little bits of humor that are cozily tucked into fine-print and glossy layouts that make for a remarkably fun, little bit of vitriolic disgust for the state of things. 

Miternique has a brilliant sense of contemporary print design that cleverly serves the reality of Cain’s world. This is really important as the satire that Cain is etching into this special one-shot is only as funny as the Mitternique’s visuals are capable of bringing across. The totally convincing reality of life in a world not entirely unlike our own is brought vividly to the page by Miternique in a hugely enjoyable one-shot.

The series Cain and Miternique ended may have been a bit hit-or-miss in places, but The Future is Yours! Man-Eaters one-shot brilliantly illustrates how the narrative can move forward in clever bite-sized specials that continue to be every bit as much satirical bite as the full series did. Current events are as ugly as ever, but it’s nice to know Cain and Miternique are still there to sink razor-sharp comic teeth into the ugliness of it all. 

Grade: A